fran_lizzie

My New Forum

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:01:31 GMT

Just advertising my new forum. For everything you want to talk about really, if I'm missing something just let me know and i'll add it.

Includes general chat, tv, film, music, musicals etc... also a place to post fiction and graphics and also a forum for roleplaying.

http://z9.invisionfree.com/Online_Heaven/index.php?act=idx

Home - 1/1.

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 22:26:26 GMT

Pairing: Addison/Derek
Rating: K (I think)
Word Count: 1944.
Quick Summary: On what would have been their 13th anniversary Addison and Derek both realise just how much they miss each other.

Hope you like. I definetely feel it's one of the best things I've ever written especially out of my Addison/Derek fics. Have been writing for a couple of years but have only been writing Addison/Derek ones for a few months.

Home

Addison woke up on Valentines day and sighed as she remembered what day it was, today would have been her 13th wedding anniversary. She has so many happy memories of that day, happy memories from when they were just going out, when they were engaged and some happy memories from early in their marriage… then there were the not so happy ones in the last few years of her marriage. Addison sighed again and decided that she was going to try not to think about that today, it was just to painful. Even remembering the happy times was painful, but she decided that if she couldn’t help herself… if she couldn’t stop thinking about Derek today then she could at least remember the happier times and not the bad times.

Meanwhile in Seattle, Derek was sitting in his trailer looking at a picture of Addison that he still kept in his wallet. He smiled and wondered what she was doing, was she thinking of him too, or was she just trying to get on with things, trying to forget about him, trying to move on. For the last few years of their marriage Derek had forgotten and had only noticed when he had got to work and everyone was going on about Valentines Day and giving each other gifts. The first time it had happened he had felt like such an ass for forgetting the anniversary of the happiest days in his life, that he had then went out determined to buy something she’d love to make it up to her, he spotted a dress in a shop window that he knew would look amazing on her, so he decided to go in and get it, it was designer and expensive and he had got the shoes to match. He also stopped to get flowers and called some of their favourite restaurants to see if they had any reservations, he hadn’t been able to find any since it was such a busy night. So he decided to cook instead, they would have their date at home. He had then went to find her at work, gave her the flowers and the dress and shoes, she thought they were amazing and she had told him that she had a feeling he was only just pretending to forget so he could surprise her with something. He had smiled at her and told her that his shift had finished, so he was going home to start cooking them something for that night, he told her that all the restaurants were all booked up and she had laughed and said that eating food at home would be just as nice, even more special, that he was making such an effort and cooking himself. Derek smiled as he remembered that day, and he felt his heart ache slightly as he thought to himself that he was such an idiot to have ever let her go.

Addison sat on her bed looking through her wedding album, she came to a picture of the two of them. He was looking at her, with such a huge grin on his face and so much love in his eyes, she had a big grin to match. Looking at a picture like that it was hard to believe that something so amazing, could ever go so wrong. She stroked his face in the picture, and felt a tear slide down her cheek. She still missed him so much every day, especially on days like this… she missed the old Derek, the guy in the picture, the guy who hadn’t seemed to be there anymore for the last few years they were together. Addison couldn’t help but laugh as she though of his nickname, McDreamy… ha he was actually far from it, but the old Derek he had been very dreamy, and she had loved him with all her heart.

As Derek drove to work he turned the radio on, they were playing love songs since it was valentines day. “Next up is Michael Buble’s Home which was requested by Hannah Young.” as the song began to play Derek started to think about how much he missed Addie and how this song fitted them so perfectly. Addison was his home, and without her his life was pretty much empty, sure he had his job and him and Mark had patched things up, but without her all that seemed pretty pointless. As the song ended he realised that he just had to find her, tell her how sorry he was. He sighed as he realised she’d probably slam the door in his face or something, but even if she did, he just knew he had to tell her that he still loves her. Instead of heading to work he turns round and heads for the airport and gets the earliest possible flight to Los Angeles.

Addison had the day off and she really wished that she didn’t, she didn’t want to sit here moping all day. That part of her life had now passed and she had been doing a really great job with moving on up to now. She got up and headed to the bathroom, she was going to get out today and pamper herself that would make her feel better. So after getting showered and dressed, she headed into town ready to do some damage on her credit card. She earned a lot, so her motto was that she might as well spend it, even though she was pretty careful most of the time, she decided this was a time where she could definitely go crazy in the shops a little. She arrived home a few hours later with so many bags that it made her think about Derek again as she remembered how he used to carry her shopping bags for her.

Later on that evening she relaxed with a nice bottle of rose wine, and decided to order Chinese takeaway. About twenty minutes later her doorbell rang so she grabbed her purse and headed to the door. Opening it she started to say. “That was qui..” she looked up and her words failed her. “D.. Derek. What the hell are you..” but before she had finished her question he had leaned in and crushed his lips down on hers, she found herself kissing him back, getting lost in it, she had so many questions, but Derek was so intoxicating and she had missed this so much that it was hard to pull away, she finally did after a couple of minutes. “Why are you here Derek? You can’t just come here and kiss me… and how the hell did you even find out where I live?”

“I’m here to tell you that I love you and I miss you. I’m sorry I just couldn’t help it, as soon as I saw you I just had to kiss you and I found out where you live from Sam, I went to your practice. He didn’t want to tell me but I told him some things and he finally caved. I woke up this morning and I remembered what day it was, and I just miss you so much Addie, I was looking at your picture.. I still have a picture of you in my wallet, and I thought about the anniversary when I got you that dress, then on the way to work I heard this song called Home by Michael Buble on the radio and it made me think about us and how much I love you, how much I miss you. After that I just knew that I had to find you. Even if you don’t except it, that’s fine. I just know I have to apologise to you, I treated you so badly these past few years, I really don’t know how it happened, I just got more and more busy and wanted to be the best I possible could, it was like I lost myself, lost the real me. I’m so sorry Addison. I understand if you won’t forgive me, I just needed to come and tell you that. I know we’re divorced now, and this is all such a mess, but I’m still in love with you, I never stopped loving you really, I just thought I did.”

Addison felt tears running down her cheeks, she had stayed silent and just let him say what he had to say and now it was her turn to talk. “I forgive you Derek, I’m so glad that you finally realised that you were like a different person, that you weren’t the Derek that I married. I’m so glad you’re back, the real you! I’m still in love with you too. I’ve been thinking about you all day long, I looked at our wedding photos, and I remembered so many happy times and tried to push the bad ones to the back of my mind. I didn’t want today to be too sad, it even hurt to remember the happy times too, cause it just reminded me of how much I had lost. But now you’re here and I really, really love you and I’ve missed you so much every single day that I’ve been away from you and really even long before that, ever since the real Derek disappeared. Please don’t go away again.” She leans in and kisses him again and feels their tears mingle together on her cheeks as he kisses her passionately.

“Oh I promise that‘s not going to happen again, not if I can help it. In fact if it was up to me we would never leave the house again.” She laughs and pulls him into the house and kicks the door behind her. “I’ll move here Addie, I don’t want to be apart from you again, and Seattle wasn’t really my home, because my home is wherever you are”

She giggles. “That is just so sweet. I feel the exact same way, I don’t really care where we live, as long as I’m with the real Derek Shepherd and not the jerk I was lumbered with for the last few years. I really miss New York actually, but I like it here… I really think we could be really happy here, with the sun and the sand and I do have this gorgeous house. We could go to New York and visit sometimes, I didn’t sell the Brownstone or the house in the Hampton’s, I just couldn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t sell them, that sounds like a good plan and LA seems like a great place and as long as I’m with you, then LA is where we’ll stay. It will be great to live near Sam and Naomi again too.”

She takes his hand. “Come on lets go and sit down and talk, actually I’ve just remembered that my takeaway should be here soon, I actually thought it was here before but I’m glad it was you instead.”

They go and sit down on her sofa and he holds her close to him, she sighs as she relaxes, “It’s so amazing just to have you hold me again.”

Derek smiles. “I know, I feel the exact same way.” The doorbell rings. “I’ll go and get that ok. You just relax and I’ll be right back.”

As they eat their Chinese (there is always enough for two, which usually goes to waste when it’s only her) they both remember and talk about all those other amazing valentines days they had together, they both agree that this was certainly going to be up there as one of the best they had ever had.

Back Where We Belong - Part 1

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:21:42 GMT

Title: Back Where We Belong
Rating: PG for this part I think, maybe even less than that. It doesn't really have anything inappropriate in it I don't think lol!
Pairing: Addison/Derek.
Spoilers: None A/U.
Word Count: 2056

Part 1

Addison woke with a splitting headache, her eyes flickered slightly but she didn’t open them, god she knew she shouldn’t have drank so much last night. She and Derek had gone out to celebrate his sister Nancy’s engagement. “Ergh Derek, I’m never drinking again!” She opened her eyes and was confused by what she saw, no Derek, but her friend Naomi and she was in a hospital. Oh god she must have had more last night than she realised. “Naomi, what’s going on? Why am I in hospital and where’s Derek? Don’t you and Sam live in LA now, what are you doing here?”

“Addison, you may be confused a bit. You were in a car accident. What you are experiencing must be some memory loss. But I shouldn’t really tell you too much now, I’m so glad you’re alright! I thought you weren’t going to wake up! You should try and remember things on your own without me telling you too much.”

“What, no? this can’t be happening! I was just out last night at Nancy’s engagement party!”

“Nancy’s engagement, that was in 2000 if I remember correctly. It’s 2007 now Addie!”

“What? No it can’t be! Where’s Derek? Why isn’t he here? I want him now!”

“It’s ok Addie, I’ll get him. Do you want to see Sam, while I do that?”

“Yes please. I want to see a doctor too. I want to know more about my memory loss. Well obviously I know you and Sam are doctors, but whoever has been treating me.”

“I’ll get him to come and see you now.”

Naomi leaves the room and tells Sam who was in the hallway to go in and sit with Addison. She then tells the doctor who was treating her that she had woken up and that she had lost about 7 years of her memory. She then gets ready to call Derek, she had thought about calling him a few times since Addison had had the accident and then decided against it. She had been hoping that Addison would wake up and she wouldn’t need to contact him cause everything would be fine, but now Addison had lost her memory, which Naomi was hoping that she wouldn’t have, not this much of it anyway. What was she suppose to tell her and Derek what was she going to tell him.

Derek answers his phone. “Hello?”

“Derek, it’s Naomi!”

“Oh hey Naomi, I haven’t heard from you in so long, how are you and Sam, and Addison I know she’s in LA now too, I hope she’s doing ok. I haven’t heard from her, not that I expected to… it’s just lately I’ve been really missing her…”

“That’s why I’m calling, about Addison… Derek, she was in a car crash two weeks ago and she’s just woke up.”

“What… oh god! Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“I was going to so many times, but I was hoping that she was going to wake up and that you wouldn’t have to know and worry about her. Only she has woke up now, but she’s asking for you Derek, she thinks you’re still married. When she woke up with a headache, she thought it was a hangover. The last thing she remembers is you two being out at Nancy’s engagement party.”

“Oh god…. Naomi that was in 2000, we were really happy then, it was before I started to work more and more, well we both did but I was worse, before Mark, before everything. What are we going to do?”

“I haven’t told her anything yet, only that it’s now 2007. Derek she really wants you.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can Naomi!”

“Thank you Derek! We’re at St Ambrose Hospital.”

Derek was now throwing a few clothes into his bag, wanting to get to LA as soon as possible. He called the Chief telling him all about Addison and how he had to get to LA straight away, he then phoned the airport and booked a ticket on there next available flight, which he was happy to find was in an hours time, he books it and makes his way to the airport.

Naomi went back into see Addison after the doctor had seen her.

“Why am I in LA Naomi? I don’t get any of this. New York is my home, why would I ever leave it?”

“Oh sweetie. I want you to remember things yourself but your doctor said it would be ok to tell you some things. So here goes… You left New York about two years ago and went to Seattle, Derek had already been there for a few months from what I remember you telling me, you and Derek had been having some problems, you were in Seattle for about a year and a half, at first you and Derek worked on your marriage but it didn’t work out, you two got divorced and then you can to LA for a change of life, it was what you needed after all that. You work at our practice.”

Addison hadn’t said anything yet she was just looking at Naomi with a shocked look on her face. “I can’t believe this! Derek I love him so much, I can’t believe that we would ever end up divorce. When just last night, I know it wasn’t really last night now, but it feels like it was to me. We were so happy Naomi… how could that have just gone bad and divorced… I can’t believe I’m divorced.”

“I know Addie, I’m divorced too.”

“What but you and Sam were so great together, you still are! Naomi… memory loss is so awful. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. Did you get in touch with Derek? He is still coming isn’t he! I still want to see him, even if were divorced now. In my mind he is still my husband and I want to see him Naomi.”

“Yes he’s coming. He didn’t know before I called him. I had thought about calling him ever since the accident happened but kept deciding against it. He said that he had missed you Addison and that was even before I told him you had been in the accident that he had told me he missed you. He had asked how Sam and I were as he hadn’t heard from us in so long and he then asked how you were too and that he had missed you, and then I told him what had happened and he was really upset. He’s coming straight away.”

“Thank you Naomi. I want to have some sleep before he gets here, maybe I’ll even remember some things. I hope so I hate not remembering, even if most of my memories will be bad. I still want to remember.”

“I know sweetie, you get some rest and I’ll be back to see you soon.” Naomi kisses her head and then leaves the room.

Derek arrives at the hospital four and a half hours later and after asking where Addison is, he heads for her room. He spots Naomi sitting in the corridor outside of her room.

“Hey Naomi!”

“Derek, I’m so glad you’re here! Before you go in.. I told her that you weren’t together anymore, she was asking loads of questions and her doctor said it would be ok to tell her a few things. So I thought it would be best if I told her why she was in LA and why you weren’t here. I didn’t tell her why you to aren’t together anymore, I just told her that you left for Seattle and that she joined you a few months later and you tried to make it work for a while before getting divorced, and then that she came here for a new start that’s all she knows. She’s very confused though, she said that she still wanted to see you even if you were now divorced because to her it feels very much like your still her husband.”

“I know, I’m glad you told her, she needed to be told something, and I’m glad you left out why things happened she needs to remember that herself.”

“Yeah that’s what I told her, that I would only tell her a few things and that she would have to remember everything else in her own time, although she may never remember at all, but I really hope she does, even if most of it was a bad time for her. She told me that herself, that she hated not being able to remember anything about her life for the past seven years and that even if it was bad she would rather remember it all.”

“I’m going to go in and see her now.”

“Ok I’m going to go home for a while, call me if you need anything.”

“I will, thanks Naomi!”

Derek takes a deep breath and then heads into the room. He smiles as he sees her sleeping, she looked as beautiful as ever, he had never forgotten how beautiful she was and he thought about her a lot especially at night, alone in his trailer, he would think about her beautiful face. He sits down in the seat beside her bed and reaches for her hand. She stirs as she feels him do so and her face breaks into a smile as she knows it is him, without opening her eyes. “Derek, I’ve missed you so much. Even though from what I can remember you were only with me last night.” She opens her eyes and smiles up at him.

“I know Addie, and I’ve missed you too so much. I can’t believe this has happened to you. I was so shocked when Naomi told me what had happened.“ He smiles down at her and contemplates whether he should tell her how he is feeling, he decides to tell the truth, it’s not like he was telling her anything about the past so it wouldn’t affect that, he was just going to tell her exactly how he was feeling right now. “I still love you Addison, I don’t think I ever did stop loving you, not once. I’ve been such a fool. I know you can’t remember but it was me, it was all mainly me that was responsible for the break up of our marriage and I’ve been regretting it ever since you left.” Tears start to fill her eyes and she sees there are tears in his eyes too.

“Oh Derek. I love you so much, you’re still my husband in here.” She points to her heart. “and you always will be. I know I can’t remember anything bad happening, but I just know that I never want to lose you. I know that I had before this accident and now I can’t remember it, but please don’t make me lose you again, I couldn’t bare it!”

“That’s not going to happen! I’ll move here or we could even go back to New York.”

“New York, I don’t really belong here. I want to go home with you Derek, back to New York, back to our brownstone.”

“Yeah I think that’s the best idea, I’ve really missed New York, it was our home for so long, and our family is there. We have Sam and Naomi here but we can always come and visit them any time we like and they can come and visit us.”

“New York is where we belong, our home, our friends, our family, our work, Mark.”

“Yeah it is and I should have never of left New York for stupid Seattle where it never stops raining! Mark is in Seattle now too, he missed us too much so he followed us out there. But I’m sure he’d come back to New York too.”

“Yeah he better, I’ve missed him even though from what I can remember I only saw him a few days ago.” she says laughing slightly.

“He’s missed you too.” Derek smiles at her and leans down to kiss her lips lightly. “I love you so much and we’ll go back to New York as soon as you’re ok to leave here.”

“I love you too!” She pulls him back towards her for a passionate kiss this time.

A/N Gah and is it just me or are all posts going to the right of the page. It looks awful and I find it hard to read!

Addek graphics

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:32:48 GMT

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g113/francesh259/3396e164.png

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g113/francesh259/b2e7feba.png

We Can Survive This - Part 4

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:21:24 GMT

Title: We Can Survive This
Rating: PG for this part I think.
Pairing: Addison/Derek.
Spoilers: None AU.
Word Count: 1248

Part 4

Derek Shepherd stood on the doorstep of their brownstone, which had been home for the past thirteen years, wondering what would be the best way to surprise her, just going in or ringing the doorbell and waiting for her to answer. He soon decided on the second option, but stood there a few minutes longer, thinking of everything that had happened, it was hard not to, being here for the first time since that night. He tries to block it out, however as he knows that if they are going to work this out, then he will really have to try and do that. He really did want to give them a proper chance to make things work, and he was going to try his hardest and they were going to talk about things, that was one of their main problems; communication… and they needed to sort that out for things to really work out between them.

He takes a deep breath and reaches out and presses on the doorbell, it rings and about a minute later Addison is answering the door. “That was quick I only just ordered…” she looks up shocked as she sees who is standing there. “Derek!”

“Hey…” She just stares at him for a few more seconds, still in shock that he has really come back.

“Well are you going to let me in then or what?” She snaps out of her trance.

“Yeah, yeah sure.” She tells him before heading into the house, leaving Derek to come in and shut the door behind him. She turns to face him. “Thank you for coming back, Derek. Even if we try and things don’t work out.. That’s not how I wanted things to end between us. That whole night it never should have happened.”

“No it shouldn’t have done… but I’m glad I’m back, that’s not how I wanted us to end either. Not that I want us to end, but if it happened that’s not how I would want things to end between us. I didn’t even give you a chance to talk about what happened. I was too angry, and too upset, but I’m ready to talk now Addie.”

“Ok, I’m ready too. I was ready to talk about it on the night but I’m even more ready now I’ve had time to think about things. Do you want a drink?”

“Erm, yeah I think a drink would be a good thing to have with this conversation. I know that we have a bottle of Scotch…”

“Yeah we do, good idea.” They go to the front room and she gets the bottle of Scotch out of the drinks cabinet and pours them both a very generous measure. She hands one to him and they sit down facing each other.

“I think that you should talk first, and I’ll listen and I’ll try not to interrupt and if I want to ask anything I will after you’ve finished… I think that would work.” He tells her before taking a sip of his Scotch.

“Ok. I can do that.” She pauses and looks at him, she the continues to speak. “So here goes… things haven’t been so great between you and me in the past few years, since Danny died. We were there for each other at first, but then we started to work more and more, I guess we, well I know I did, worked because at least we were nearly always saving a life, even though Danny’s couldn’t be saved, it feels good to save someone else’s life. But then after a while, I really started to miss you, I tried talking to you about it, I planned nights for us to see each other, but you stood me up most of the time and even when you didn’t, you were so indifferent that may as well have not even been there. Mark well he just always seemed to be around and he was great to talk to, a great friend to me. What happened it was never meant to, we didn’t plan it. He came over and I was upset and he was there for me and the next thing I knew, we were kissing, it’s all a bit of a blur. I just didn’t want to hurt anymore. I just wanted it all to disappear. I know it was stupid, I really wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry Derek, you can’t imagine how much. It meant nothing to me and I still can’t believe I did it. I’m so sorry.” She stops talking and brushes the tears away that are running down her face. She knocks back her drink in one gulp.

“I’m sorry too, Addie. I’m sorry it took this for me to notice you. But in a way maybe I’m sort of glad it happened too. If it hadn’t I’d probably still be ignoring you and I don’t want that. I love you and I should be spending time with you, I want to spend time with you. It really hurt so badly seeing you with him, my wife and my best friend. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stamped all over, but realizing how badly I’ve treated you these past few years, that hurts me so much more. I’m so sorry, Addison.” Tears spill over his cheeks and he wipes them with his hand, before knocking his Scotch back.

“I know you are.” She swallows to stop her tears from falling. “I’m so glad your back and I’m glad we talked. We haven’t had a proper conversation in over a year.”

“I know, I really hope we can make this work, Addie I really do. Talking is a good start, I think we should do that at least twice a week, maybe more at first, and marriage counselling and family counselling with Lucy.”

“Yeah, I think all those things are a great idea. Did Lucy know you were coming she went out just before you got her saying she had to go and see a friend.”

“Yes she did. I guess she thought that we needed some time alone to talk about things. But is it ok if I call her now, I’ve really missed her.”

“Yeah sure. I think we’ve talked enough for now.” She smiles at him. “Thanks again for coming home, Derek. I know it’s going to be hard. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy.”

“Yeah you’re so right about that!”

The doorbell rings and Addison goes and gets some money. “That should be my Chinese. I thought it was them when you arrived.”

He laughs slightly and says “Ok then, well I’ll just call Lucy and tell her to come home.”

Addison goes to the door and goes through to the kitchen with her Chinese. “Do you want some? They always give you way too much for just one person to eat.” She calls through to him.

“Yeah sure. I’m starving!” He comes through to the kitchen. “I’ll help you put it out.”

“So what time is Lucy coming back?”

“She said she would be here in about 15 minutes”

“Great! I bet you can’t wait. I’ve had almost a week with her, but you haven’t seen her in a while. Since she went away.”

“Yeah I’ve really missed her. I’m glad that she’s going to Columbia. It will be good to be a family again.”

She smiles at him. “Yes, it really will be!”

We Can Survive This - Part 3

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:08:40 GMT

Title: We Can Survive This
Rating: PG (I think for this part anyway)
Pairing: Addison/Derek
Spoilers: None AU.
Word Count: 1008
Disclaimer: I don't own Addison and Derek or Grey's Anatomy.

Part 3

Five days had past since Lucy had came home, and although things still weren’t so good and Addison was still very upset and hating herself for what she had done. Lucy managed to take her mind off things most of the time. They watched chick flicks, ate junk food, did each others hair and make up. It worked, Addison’s mind was off what she had done for just a few hours each day, but it didn’t stop her thinking about it at night, when she slept she dreamed about him, bad times, good times, him catching her and Mark together, him leaving, him saying they weren’t Addison and Derek anymore.

Addison hoped that he would keep his promise to Lucy and that he would come back and try and fix things between them, but she couldn’t help but doubt that he would try and then just find it all too hard and back out of it, or come home and soon walk out again. She didn’t know what would be worse, never seeing him again, or thinking she has him back only for him to leave again. At least if that happened she would still have Lucy. She had really been amazing and Addison was glad she was moving back home. She had sorted transferring to Columbia yesterday, and she was really excited, it was actually one of the places she had been thinking about choosing, before she had decided to go to Harvard. Addison knew that Lucy would love Columbia, after all that’s where Addison had gone to med school and it was also where she had met Derek.

Addison was late for her very first class after her alarm clock had failed to go off. She had showered and dressed in lighting speed, then ran a brush through her hair and only bothered to try and dry it for all of thirty seconds before deciding that would have to do. She rushed out of the door and ran across to the other side of campus. She was running so fast that she didn’t see him and she bumped into him, almost knocking them both off their feet. “I’m so sorry! I was rushing to get to class, I’m late!” She looks up and sees the most gorgeous guy she has ever seen in her life. She looks into his eyes, mesmerised, such a beautiful blue colour. He was feeling quite the same way as he felt himself get lost in her blue-green eyes. Although he soon snapped out of it remembering where he was. “Hi, I’m Derek Shepherd.” Hearing his voice made her snap out of her trance too.
“Hey, I’m Addison Montgomery”
“Very nice to meet you, Addison. I best let you get on, you said you were late.”

“Yeah I am and it’s nice to meet you too, Derek” She starts to walk away.
“Maybe we’ll see each other again some time.” He shouts after her.
‘Yeah I hope so.’ She thought to herself as she rushed off to her class. ‘I really, really hope so.’

Meanwhile, Lucy is downstairs when her mobile starts to ring. Caller ID saying ‘Dad’.

“Hey Dad!”

“Hey Lucy, how’s things?”

“Good, they could be better, but we’re doing ok.”

“Good, that’s good. I’m just calling to let you know, I’ve been thinking about everything in these past few days and I think it was good for me to take some time out from everything. I’ve thought about lots of good and happy things and all the bad things, and I really want to make this work now. I’m also sick of this hotel. I’ll be home tonight ok.”

“Really, oh dad that’s great! We’ve really missed you. I told mom that you promised you would come back, but she was a bit unsure that you would, or that even if you would, you would soon leave again. You promise that you’ll try and keep on trying even if things get really hard.”

“Yeah I promise Lucy, I’m going to put my all into making this work. I’m going to be there, and we’re going to spend time together, and I’m going to cut back on my hours. We can’t fix this if we’re both at work all the time.”

“That’s great dad, I can’t wait to see you what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“About 7ish.”

“Great should I tell mom?”

“Mmm I don’t know, we could just surprise her?”

“Yeah I really think she would like that. Oh and dad I have some good news too. I’ve transferred to Columbia. I don’t want to be away from my family, I think it would be good to have some time together as well as time for just you and mom. Maybe we could go to family counselling. I’ve already mentioned it to mom and she thought it was a good idea.”

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea too. I’m glad that you’ll be home and you’ll love Columbia, me and you mom really loved it there!”

“Yeah I know, well I best go and I promise I won’t spoil the surprise for mom. See you tonight dad, love you.”

“See you tonight Lucy, love you too.”

Lucy smiles as she hangs up, things were definitely improving and it would take some time but things would get better. She couldn’t wait to see her parents happy again. She really hope that it would work, even if it took time. They hadn’t been truly happy in over three years. They had been there for each other at first, but then they had started to push each other away and Lucy had seen it happening, she had even tried to talk to them about it, but they continued to work all of the hours, they hardly saw each other. They were just surviving and not really living life. Danny wouldn’t have wanted that. Lucy was glad that her dad was coming home and hopefully they would all get through this and be much stronger for it.

We Can Survive This - Part 2

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:16:56 GMT

Title: We Can Survive This
Rating: PG for this part anyway
Pairing: Addison/Derek
Spoilers: None

Part 2

Lucy arrived back in New York in the morning, and got a taxi straight home to their brownstone. She unlocks the door and walks in, shutting it behind her. “Mom?” she calls wondering whereabouts in the house she is.

Addison is in the living room, asleep on the sofa, dreaming of happier times.

Derek and Addison are curled up in bed, both of their hands resting on Addison’s pregnant stomach. They didn’t have much and were still living in a small apartment, but they had each other, and Addison especially had enough money for them, and Derek had his family to help them. They were going to be a family.
Derek kisses her neck softly. “I’ve been thinking about names what do you think we could call her, well or him too I guess.”
Addison smiles and tells him. “I was thinking maybe Lucy for a girl, Lucy Jade. Do you like it?”
“I love it! It really does sound perfect. Lucy Jade Montgomery Shepherd.”
“What about boys names?”
“Erm, Matthew maybe, or Daniel or Jack, maybe even James. I don’t know what do you like?”
“Daniel, maybe we can call him Danny. Yeah I really like that. Daniel Jack Montgomery Shepherd.”
“That is so perfect Addison! We’ve just named our baby. Hey Addison I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m a Shepherd and our baby is going to be too. It makes me want you to be one too, more than ever.” He grabs a box out from under his pillow, that he had been hiding there and opens it. “Will you marry me?”
Addison looks at him shocked, but smiling. “Yes! Yes Derek, I’ll marry you!”
He slips the ring onto her finger. “You’ve just made me the happiest man alive!”
“And you just made me the happiest women alive! Wow Derek, It’s beautiful!”
“It was my grandmothers. She wanted me to give it to someone when I found true love, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone.”
“Wow that makes it even more special. I love you so much Derek and I can’t wait to be Mrs Shepherd.”
“Hmmm, Mrs Shepherd. I really, really like the sound of that!”
Addison giggles. “Me too! Now what do you say we celebrate Mr Shepherd.” She grins up at him and then leans forward and kisses him passionately.
“I’d love to, Mrs Shepherd!”

Addison woke as she heard Lucy shouting her, why did dreams always have to end just as they were getting really good. “I’m in here Lucy!” She shouts through to her. Lucy comes through to the living room from the hall way.

“Hey mom, you feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah much better now you’re here. What did your dad say when you called him?”

“He said that he was finding it hard, but I talked to him about some things and he realised how bad things had been in the past few years. I made him promise to come home, in a week at the most. He still loves you and he misses you, and he can’t imagine his life without us. So he is going to come back mom!”

“Really.. I’m shocked… I can’t believe you managed to convince him to come back. Thanks so much Lucy! We need him, he’ll come back and we’ll talk and it will be hard, but we’ll get through this?” Addison asks slightly unsure that they would ever be able to, even if he is coming back.

“Yeah mom, we’ll get through this. Dad is coming back and you’re going to talk to each other, and maybe counselling would be a good idea. You’re going to be stronger for this, we’ll survive. It’s been hard on all of us since Danny died, maybe we could have counselling together as a family, and then one for just you and dad.”

“Yeah Lucy, I think that’s a great idea. But you’re at med school. I know you’re not exactly right over the other side of the country but you’re not exactly really close either. So I don’t see how that would work…”

“Well I was thinking, maybe I should transfer to NYU or Columbia or anywhere else in New York, if I can. I don’t really mind. I want us to be a family again. What do you think?”

“Well if that’s what you want, and if you are able to then I think it’s a great idea. I really want us to be a proper family again too.”

“Great well I’ll try and get that sorted this week then. I’ve missed you mommy.” Lucy says as pulls Addison into a hug.

“I’ve missed you too, angel. We’re going to be ok, we have each other, always.”

We Can Survive This - New Addison & Derek fic.

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:16:35 GMT

We Can Survive This.

Part 1

Lucy Jade Montgomery Shepherd, was 18 years old and had just started at Harvard studying Medicine. She had always been very intelligent and had graduated High School a year early. She had always wanted to a doctor, not a surgeon like her parents, she just wanted to be a doctor. She was really enjoying it and decided to call home and let her parents know how she was doing. They had had her when they were 21 and although it had been a struggle for them, they had managed to make it through med school and became world class surgeons. It was lucky that they had had a really great family, especially with her dad’s side to help out with her, and she really did feel so very lucky to have them all. She really did love her family.

Calling home that night however everything changed. Her mom picked up straight away, sounding very upset. “Derek?” Addison asked hoping it would be him calling her, even though she knew it was very unlikely.

“No mom it’s me… Is everything ok? You sound really upset. What did he do?”

“Lucy! Hey baby, it’s nothing really. How are things with you?”

“That doesn’t matter right now. Please Mommy tell me what’s wrong?”

Addison starts to cry. “I… I ..I did something awful. I still can’t believe I did it. I was just so lonely, and felt so unwanted and angry and so much more than that. He’s been so indifferent and cold ever since we lost Danny. I… I slept with Mark... Last night.” Lucy gasped it was the last thing she had expected to hear.

“I’m sorry mom. I’m just shocked. But please tell me what happened. I’m trying to understand, really. I do, dad hasn’t been a husband to you at all in the past three years, I was hoping so much that you would just get though it. I know that you love each other and mom we all loved Danny we were so happy together, the four of us.”

Addison lets a sob escape her. “We were, weren’t we. But after Danny died, we just fell apart. Your dad and I worked more and more, and saw less and less of each other.”

“I know mom, I was there too. I know I was always studying hard, or I was out with friends but I noticed.”

“Your dad, he’s left me Lucy. He came home and caught me and Mark together. I tried to tell him how sorry I was and that it was only one time and that Mark was just here, lately Mark has just seemed to be here so much for me. He left and said we weren’t Addison and Derek anymore. I don’t even know where he’s gone, if he’s ok. Can you call his mobile Lucy? He’ll pick up if you call him. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him!”

“Mom I’m going to come home, you need me right now. I’ll be able to get some time off.”

“No no Lucy, I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to take time off. Just stay in school and study I know how much you want to be a doctor.”

“I do, so much. But right now you need me mom and I won’t take no for an answer. I’m coming home.”

“Ok but Lucy only come for a week at the most, I don’t want you missing out on too much.”

“Ok mom and I promise I’ll call dad for you. I’ll do it right now ok. Then I’ll get the first plane out of here.”

“Thank you Lucy. I love you.”

“I love you too mom. Try and stay strong till I get home.”

Lucy hangs up and immediately calls her fathers mobile. Derek seeing it is Lucy calling on his caller ID picks up.

“Lucy, hey princess”

“Hey dad. I just called home and made mom tell me everything cause I knew she was upset. I’m so sorry, it must have really hurt to see your wife and your best friend together.”

Derek sighed and felt tears forming in his eyes. “It did more than you can imagine, Lucy. I just had to get away from it all.”

“I understand that, but you are coming back right? She needs you, dad and she’s sorry and she loves you.”

“I don’t know, Lucy. I really don’t know if I can.”

“Dad please come home, she just wants her husband back, the one she had before Danny died. You’ve got to face it dad you haven’t been the same since Danny died and instead of supporting each other, you pushed each other away and worked more and more.”

“I know, I realised that last night after I left. I love her and I miss her, and I miss our family. But I really don’t know if we can get through this it’s too hard.”

“Life is hard. Life isn’t fair sometimes. It’s not fair that Danny died. It hurts me too dad. But we can get through this as a family, please come home. Your wife needs you. I need you. I know it will take time, but you could try counselling, I think you should have long before now. Maybe if you had of done that, she wouldn’t have slept with him. She regrets it and hates herself so much for it. She didn’t want him dad, and she certainly doesn’t love him as anything more than a friend. She loves you dad!”

Derek sighs again and tears stream freely down his face. “I’ll think about it. I know that I don’t want to be without her, and I do love her and I miss her. But I just don’t know. I can’t imagine my life without you and your mother in it. I don’t want to, so I… I really will think about coming back home. But it will take time Lucy. I need time to process this. A week maybe.”

“Thank you daddy. I’m going home she needs me so I’m taking at least a week off.”

“Thank you Lucy. Even though I can’t be there with her right now. I love and care about her enough to want someone to be there with her. I know that she’s as devastated as I am.”

“Yeah she is. Please promise me you’ll come home daddy. Even though Danny isn’t here anymore. I want our family back. I want us all to be happy, me you and mommy.”

Derek hesitates for a moment before saying. “I promise Lucy… I really think you’re right it’s time we were a family again. Danny wouldn’t have wanted us to fall apart because he died and he would have wanted us to remember him with happiness, not sadness.”

“He would have done. He was such a happy child, the three years he was here were some of the happiest of my life.”

“Mine too…. Oh god…. Lucy I’ve been such an idiot. How could I have let it get this far. We should have stayed strong and comforted each other through Danny’s death. I know Addison tried to get through to me, but I ignored her.”

“At least you’ve realised now. It’s not too late dad I promise. Just come home when you’re ready.”

“Thanks Lucy. I think it may be sooner than I thought cause talking to you has cleared some things up and I want to make up for my mistakes. I’ll be home in a few days. A week at the most.

“Ok Bye daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too princess.”

Les Miserables

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 06:08:34 GMT

Random ramblings about the amazing musical!

I really love this musical so much more than I did! I saw it in London in August and didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I thought the storyline was hard to follow and understand and we were sat so far back (second from back row in upper circle) that it wasn't as enjoyable as I bet it would have been up close. I did enjoy the songs though and they had some fab singers in it. I had only really listened to 3 songs before I saw it, but now have heard more than that.

I'm really into it now. I love all the recordings I have of it, and really want the 10th Anniversary concert for my birthday or christmas. I love it so much that I really want to see it again and this time be sat closer. I think the storyline and everything would be much easier to follow and much more enjoyable a second time round. So I really must see this again. I have listened to it lots today. Love the songs!

New Beginnings

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 05:09:31 GMT

Hey this is my first fic i've ever wrote on grey's anatomy or Addek. I have written other things but never these 2 or grey's so hope this is ok. Let me know what you think.. I will be writing more but just wanted to see what people thought of it so far. All comments very much appreciated. I was thinking that this would be an intro type part and then everything else will be then set in Seattle. Think a rating of 18 for this, well not at the moment but just to be safe for later chapters, I have not yet written but will be doing.

I'm also still quite new to LJ. I've had the account for a while but wasn't sure how to do much on it lol. Really want to put a header and layout on it. Am good with making graphics and stuff but have no idea how to get them on. So if anyone could help, shall be grateful. :)

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Derek Shepherd just had to get away from everything, New York, Mark, Addison. He just had to get away, he felt sick, he couldn’t face her, not after what he’d seen. He also felt sad and partly to blame, maybe he had drove her to it, but she… she was his wife and even if he hadn’t been the best husband in recent years, that didn’t mean that she had the right to sleep with his best friend, in their bed. It was not like he had ever been unfaithful, Addie had always been the only one for him, and now he just didn’t know anymore.Richard Webber had contacted him a few days earlier to offer him a job at Seattle Grace Hospital, and also with the promise of him being Chief of Surgery, there once he retired. Derek had thought about it for a few days, and had decided he may take it if Addison was ok with it, maybe it could be a new start for them. They had such busy lives now and hardly saw each other, maybe moving to Seattle could be a fresh start, a way for them to change, make more time for each other. If they didn’t soon they were just going to fall apart. He called Richard and told him that if Addie wanted to move too, then he would come. Richard then told him that he also had a job that he was sure Addie would be interested in, and told Derek to let her know that. He then let Richard know some of the problems they had been having, and Richard had been very sympathetic and told Derek maybe it was a good idea to come and start a fresh in Seattle, make more time for each other, try and get back to how they had once been, happy and very much in love. He still loved her, he knew that much and he was sure she still loved him, but they just had to make time for each other or they wouldn’t survive living like this for much longer. He knew it was painful for Addison and it was for him too. He knows that he keeps her waiting at home for so many nights when he promises he will be there and that has to stop now.
That night he plans to surprise her, Addison thinks he will be late back as always but he comes home early wanting to tell her all about Seattle, and how he thinks he should move there, make a fresh start and also about the jobs Richard had offered them. He turns his key in the lock but as he goes in he knows something isn’t right, he sees clothes scattered at the bottom of the stairs, he picks up a jacket and recognises it, his best friend Mark’s. Derek immediately felt sick, was he too late to start again with Addison, had she already moved on with his best friend. No maybe there was an explanation for this, maybe what he was thinking which was the worst thing ever wasn’t actually happening. He just had to think of something, something to explain it that wasn’t his best friend and his wife, together. Doing things that only they - Derek and Addison - should be doing together.
Then he heard it, Addison’s voice, no mistaking it, calling out in pleasure. But it wasn’t Mark’s name she was calling out, it was his. He paused. She was calling out his name while screwing another guy. It made him feel sick but in a way also not so bad, it must mean she still wanted him, loved him. But because he was never there… What had he done, he had driven his wife into the arms of another man and not just any man his best friend. He just stood there in a daze and about a minute or so later Mark came past him, wanting to leave as soon as possible, not wanting to be with someone who just wanted comfort cause their husband was never there. Derek was in too much of a daze to barely even notice he had gone past him. But as the door slammed shut as Mark left he soon snapped out of it.
He ran up the stairs to see Addison laying there in tears, wearing one of his t shirts. He slammed the bedroom door shut, so angry right now, angry with Mark, angry with Addison, but most of all angry with himself. Addison turns and looks up at him. “Derek… I… I...” she doesn’t know what to say, she looks up into his eyes and knows that he knows what she has been doing.
“Just don’t bother saying anything Addison, there’s nothing you can say that can make this any better or worse even than it already is.”
“Please just give me a chance to explain Derek… I” she looks down at her hands not knowing quite how to explain to her husband why she was screwing his best friend in their bed.
“You, you what? You slept with my best friend in our bed Addie! Our bed! What is there to explain!” All Derek’s thoughts of feeling to blame for this and wanting to make a new start are gone now, they’re still there somewhere but right now he just feels so angry that he can’t do anything but get angry and react. He heads to the closet and gets some of her clothes out. She follows him, wanting to do anything she can to make him listen, even though she doesn’t really have much that can really explain it all, not if he won’t give her a chance to explain it all properly, and to do that would take hours not minutes.
“Derek, Derek, listen to me…Derek you can’t do this… Derek we have to… we have to talk about this… You, you have”
“No!” Derek cut her off too angry right now to hear any excuses he just wanted to be away from her, away from everyone.
“You have to give me a chance to explain. What are you doing? What are you doing with my clothes? Derek.” He left the room and headed for the stairs. She follows him. Just as shocked and devastated as he is, wanting more than anything to talk, to explain. “It was one time, I know that’s what people say, I know that’s what always gets said. It was just I don’t even know how it happened. I don’t know what I was thinking. He…he was just here, he was just here”
“You screw my best friend and all you can say is he was just here. Get out!” Now at the door, Derek opens it and throws her clothes out.
“No”
“Get out!”
“No… no I’m not going. We’re going to talk about this!”
“Get out of my house now!” Derek shouted louder than ever now he just wanted her gone, he couldn’t face her. Couldn’t face what their marriage had now become.
“No, no, I’m holding my ground. I’m holding my ground we don‘t quit! We have to work…”
“Get out!” He says going over to where she is sitting at the bottom of the stairs. He grabs her arm and pulls her up dragging her to the door.
“What are you doing? Derek…No No!” He throws her out and slams the door as she pleads with him to give her a chance.
“Please Derek Please” She sobs, begging more than ever now. He places a hand on the door, and Addison is doing the same on the other side of the door, both totally broken. He turns round but as she is still sobbing “please” he can’t bare to hurt her that much and lets her in.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry. You have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am. I’m sorry. Ok..” She tells him as she goes to hug him.
“Ok.” She touches his face, but he pushes her away and closes the door. He then turns back to face her running his hand through his hair.
“I’m going to go you stay I’ll get my clothes in the morning…”
“No no no no no we can survive this Derek. We can survive this we’re, we’re Addison and Derek…”
“I can’t look at you I look at you and I feel nauseas I just. We’re not Derek and Addison anymore.”
“If you go now. If you go now were not going to get through this. If you go now we don’t have a chance. We don’t have a chance if you go now. If you go.” He opens the door before she has even finished and leaves, wanting to get out of there. Wanting to be anywhere but there at that very moment. So much for a new start! He didn’t know if he could ever face her again. Yeah he loved her, he loved her more than anything and that’s why it hurt so much more.
Addison collapsed to the floor. Totally broken, sobbing her heart out and just repeating his name, over and over again.